The past haunts me..

Why?

Why did you said it all to me.


 when I'm already mended?

yet, still broken...

Why is this all happening now?

when I am already gone..

yet, still waitin'.

Why now?

When my world is already spinnin' on its own.

Yet, slowly fallin'..

Why...


I will admit it.


There's still a hole here in my heart..

Longing to be filled by you.

Damn. I'm still into you.

I'm so afraid. I am terrified .. 

Scared to let you know that I still love you.

Even though, you have hurt me..

Long time ago..

When my heart was young and too naive to feel this "First heartbeat" that I have felt when I was with you..



When you showed me how to love ..

And how to be hurt for the first time in my life.

The pain.  
The sorrow.
The agony I have felt deep inside..

All the tears that have rolled down from my teary eyes.



It's all because of you.



and because of you..

The past haunts me.


 -LCB

Here it goes AGAIN.

I am so confused and in the otherhand, shocked of what I have figured out from him.



Srsly. I still do have this fuckin' feelings.:(

I'm so stupid. Okay. I admit it.


I am so startled to the turn of events last night..

til now.


:/


What am I supposed to do?


Why is this happening all over again..

This couldnt be.

HELP.




This is Elle,
Signing off..


#CONFUSED
#LONGING


 

HAY BUHAY

Dear Blogger,


My life is really in great ruins right now I just can't take it anymore. :(

God, Help me get over all of these madness.

Actually,  I just don't know how to handle all of this misery. My life is such failure. I want to keep my faith burning but, I don't know if it's still worth a try to keep on holding on.

But, I gotta keep moving forward. I know all of these happens for a reason. God will never fail me. He will grant my heart's deepest desires.


I know it really been a very tough day for me, I still believe that there's still hope I just need to be patient. I need to be strong to overcome all of this. I need to endure all the pain that I'm suffering right now. I need to be ready to face everything that will come into my way because I know it's worth the risk.

Even though I'm brave enough to say this words right now, still, the pain and the fear dwell in me. I'm still nervous about what's goin to happen. There is no assurance. It's a do or die situation. Can I surpass this?

I know there is no clear solution to what's gonna happen in the past few weeks in my life. There are so many questions in my mind, wandering like a lost child.. :(

I want to be happy yet I just can't. How can I handle of my fears when I am so afraid?


Afraid that it'll happen.

 Afraid that things would go even worst than I am expecting right now..

That no one would be there to understand me.

Please can somebody heed my crying heart's call for help..?




I'm so frustrated. I'm disappointed. I am shattered.

I just don't know how to live in this cruel world anymore.

I know I made my mistakes. Those wrong choices. I made my flaws..

Sorry because I am not perfect. Sorry if I can't be that somebody that people always wanted me to become.

Sorry if I have all deceived you. Sorry for those bullshits that I have done.

I am sorry.. for being imperfect.

Hope you will all understand me, and realize that I could never be the one person that the world wants me to be.




-This is Elle, saying Goodbye.